Selflessness Is Your First Step

I can't say it any simpler than that... Ok, let's try this... Think of your spouse before thinking of yourself. How can you fulfill your spouses needs and desires? Now think of it in the other direction... "Do I think of my needs over my spouses needs? Do I think of fulfilling my desires over my spouses desires? Do I even know what my spouse's desires and needs are?" Really, ask yourself these questions! Do you know? If not, then chances are that you are either thicker in the head than you realized or more selfish than you realized.

This comes down to communication. But it also comes down to loving another the way you love yourself. I have a friend who told me that she doesn't love herself all that much. I asked her what she would do if she found a $100 bill lying on the ground... She began to list the things she would buy for herself. This was about 15 minutes after telling me that she had no money to get her husband a birthday gift. Regardless of how you may FEEL about yourself, you still love yourself. You know what you want and need, and will often stop at nothing (within reason most times) to get it. Wouldn't it be nice if someone else would act that way toward you... look out for you so you wouldn't have too....

Now I know this may sound like a crazy concept, but when Kell and I were just going out, I painted her a proverbial picture of how a person is taught to look out for his or herself... "take care of number one" as the saying goes. But imagine if you will if someone starts to look out for you. That frees you up to lookout for someone else, namely the one looking out for you. If you are taking care of your spouses needs and your spouse is taking care of your needs you are both demonstrating love for each other in turn allowing each other to be loved and love. Now this is a very basic, infantile form of love as it is conditional, or tit-for-tat, but it is a place to begin. to know what love might feel like.

Talk with each other to find out what the other needs, likes and desires. Become each other's best friends...